How to Approach the Holidays with Peace

Don’t Let Apprehension Dampen the Season!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

With the kids jingle belling

And everyone telling you, “Be of good cheer!”

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

Andy Williams’ iconic Christmas song portrays all the magical things about the holiday season. Parties, caroling, roasting marshmallows, and visiting friends–who doesn’t want all that?! 

If that’s you, but at the same time you feel apprehension about the holidays, you’re not alone. For many people, popular Christmas song lyrics and media images don’t reflect reality. Whether it’s the pressure to make the holidays perfect, manage family interactions, or figure out gift-giving on a tight budget, the various demands can make the holidays feel like a time to be survived rather than enjoyed.

Here are some strategies for approaching the season with more peace and less apprehension.

Managing Your Expectations

A significant source of holiday stress comes down to expectations. We’re talking about everyone’s expectations–yours, your boss’s, your employees’, your friends’, and your family’s. But it’s your own expectations that can be the biggest killer of holiday joy. 

Are you a person who wants everything to be perfect? Do you have 50 specific ideas of what constitutes that perfection? Consider that the quest for perfection sometimes amounts to chasing after media images that simply aren’t realistic–or would take a small army to make happen.

Instead of aiming for a Hallmark version of holiday events, take some time to think about a few aspects of holiday celebrations or observances that really matter to you. Then intentionally shift your focus to achieving just those things. Forget about the other 45 things on the Hallmark list. Let yourself experience the season in whatever way it unfolds around the things that you decide are important to you.

Coping with Others’ Expectations

It’s not just your own expectations that cause stress—others’ expectations can also cause you stress.

Do family members expect you to host the big holiday dinner? Give specific kinds of gifts? Attend every gathering? These external pressures can add to holiday pressure, and it’s important to remember that you have the right to say what you want and don’t want to do.

It sounds cliche, but it’s still true: communication is the key when managing others’ expectations.

• Express your limits kindly but firmly
• Let your family and friends know what you can and cannot do
• Don’t feel guilty if that means saying “no” to some requests

Setting boundaries like these allows you to preserve your peace and energy to give your best to the things that matter most to you.

Reflecting on Past Holiday Stresses

For many people, previous holiday seasons are marked by stressful or painful memories. Whether they were family arguments, financial struggles, or your own beliefs that you didn’t live up to expectations, these memories can make you dread the holidays rather than look forward to them.

As you enter this season, take a few minutes to think about what made past holidays stressful. Were you stretched too thin? Did you feel overwhelmed by obligations? Were relationship tensions present?

Once you’ve identified the stressors, figure out how to mitigate them this year. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but you can do it. Think outside the box and come up with solutions. This might mean having conversations with your family or friends or colleagues about what activities the holiday will contain, choosing to spend time with positive people, deciding to spend less money on gifts, or scaling back on some traditions.

Taking Care of Yourself

To experience the holiday season with anticipation and joy, you must take care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Take time to rest and reflect on the true meaning of the holidays. Engage in activities that replenish your soul, whether it’s going for a walk, grabbing coffee with a friend, meditating or praying, or simply taking extra moment to breathe in the middle of the holiday rush. Consider an extra session with your life coach or a one-off virtual session with a therapist.

Planning to be out of town for the holidays? Don’t neglect all of your routines just because you’re away from home.

• If you do CrossFit, find a gym and pay to attend a session
• If you meditate every morning, tell your family you need 15 minutes by yourself
• If you run or walk regularly, take your shoes and athleticwear

These deliberate actions to care for yourself will make a big difference in how grounded you feel when you’re away from home.

Remember, your well-being is important, and taking care of yourself allows you to relax and be more present with those around you.

Summing It Up

The holidays don’t have to be synonymous with stress and apprehension. By managing your expectations, setting healthy boundaries, mitigating past stressors, and taking care of yourself, you can move through the season with calm, anticipation, and joy.