Leading with Emotional Intelligence: A Guide for Community Association Managers

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence involves the ability to identify, assess, and control one’s own emotions, those of others, and those of groups.

Emotional intelligence is often abbreviated as EI or EQ.

“EI has the right initials. EQ has more power in the marketplace because it communicates something that clients intuitively understand and emphasizes the contrast with IQ.” (Dana Ackley: Emotional Intelligence: A Practical Review of Models, Measures, and Applications; American Psychological Association, 2016)

For CAMs, where daily interactions require a balance of diplomacy and leadership, EQ could be your strongest asset. Ninety percent of high performers in business settings have high EQ levels. Eighty percent of low performers have low EQ levels.

A high-EQ approach not only resolves conflicts but promotes mutual respect and cooperation. A low-EQ approach can exacerbate tensions and lead to lasting discord.

Integrate Emotional Intelligence into Association Management

Understanding and implementing emotional intelligence in association management is a key component of successful leadership. A CAM’s high EQ can make the difference between a harmonious community and one dogged by conflict.

This guide looks at how CAMs can leverage emotional intelligence to foster better relationships and more effective management practices.

The Five Key Pillars of Emotional Intelligence for CAMs

Self-Awareness: Knowing your strengths and weaknesses and understanding how you affect others can significantly improve how you manage both your team and residents. 

Self-Management: This involves controlling impulses and staying rational even under stress—critical skills when dealing with the myriad issues that arise in an association.

Internal Motivation: A passionate CAM is one who seeks to achieve the right outcomes for the community, driven by values rather than a quest for personal gain.

Empathy: The ability to understand and respond to the emotional cues of others helps in resolving conflicts and in fostering a supportive community environment.

Social Skills: These are essential for managing relationships within the association and expressing emotions constructively.

Recognize Emotional States: Approach vs. Avoid

Emotional Intelligence also involves recognizing the emotional states that influence our behavior towards others.

The Approach State

CAMs who operate in the approach state find inspiration in others’ success.

They look at the big picture, seek solutions, learn from coaching, and coach others. They persevere in the face of adversity.

CAMs who live in this state tend to have better health—decreased blood pressure and improved immune function—and are known for inspiring and engaging their teams and residents.

The Avoid State

CAMS that operate in the avoid state are threatened by others’ success.

Obstacles demotivate them, and they give up easily. They tend to criticize others and dismiss constructive feedback.

Dominated by negative energy and increased stress markers like adrenaline and cortisol, this state can reduce a CAM’s ability to influence effectively and can lead to poorer community relations.

How Can a CAM Stay in the Approach State?

To remain in the more beneficial approach state, CAMs can use the S.T.A.R method:

Stop: Take a moment to halt before reacting.

Assess: Understand the situation and the emotions involved.

Think: Consider the best approach to address the situation.

Respond: Act in a way that aligns with your role as a leader and a caretaker of the community.

Don’t Underestimate the Impact of Stress

Stress can greatly undermine a CAM’s effectiveness at managing their association. Understanding its impacts can help CAMs develop strategies to mitigate stress both for themselves and their teams.

• Physical and mental health: Chronic stress increases the risk of high blood pressure and weakened immune function, and it can lead to burnout. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, and maintaining a work-life balance can help manage stress levels.
• Setting realistic expectations: Often, stress arises from unrealistic expectations CAMs may place on themselves or their teams. Set achievable goals and create systems that promote efficiency without overwhelming your team.
• Taking time for self-care: Regularly scheduled downtime can prevent burnout and keep CAMs energized and focused. It’s also essential for maintaining personal health and overall job satisfaction.

Build Lasting Relationships & Negotiate for a Win/Win

For CAMs, a key aspect of cultivating a high EQ is building lasting relationships and negotiating effectively, ensuring all parties feel heard and valued.

Understand and Adapt

By adapting your communication style to others’ behavioral styles, you can gain cooperation, build winning relationships, prevent and resolve conflicts, and increase your influence.

Ask Open-Ended Questions

Engage with others by asking open-ended questions to better understand their needs, wants, and issues. This fosters a deeper connection and shows genuine interest in their perspectives.

Show Empathy in Negotiations

When emotions are high, empathy becomes crucial. Coming from an empathetic place allows you to negotiate as an advocate rather than an adversary, seeking to understand and address the underlying concerns of all involved.

Collaborate and Compromise

The goal in negotiations should be a win/win outcome where both sides feel satisfied with the agreement. This often involves compromise and collaboration, using open-ended questions to reset situations and find common ground.

Set Ideal, Realistic, and Acceptable Outcomes (I.R.A.)

Know your ideal, realistic, and acceptable outcomes before you enter any negotiation. This will help guide the process and ensure you stay clear on what you need versus what you can compromise on.

Conclusion

For CAMs, intentionally developing a high EQ is not just about personal success; it’s about creating thriving, cooperative communities. By implementing the principles of EQ, you can enhance your leadership capabilities and provide significant value to the communities you manage. The journey toward high emotional intelligence is not a one-time effort but a continuous process of growth and learning.

Thank you, Robert Mitchell of Mitchell Insurance, for sharing your CEU presentation and allowing us to use the information in this blog.